I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
