Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
handjob tips. give me some.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
