she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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