i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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