You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I look better un-naked...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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