I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
