When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
