did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
