Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
