4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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