i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
