my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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