im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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