Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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