are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We are all done wearing pants today
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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