TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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