i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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