i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Less talking, more tequila
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
