physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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