My sheets look like a crime scene.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
