In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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