It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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