we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
