Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
