this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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