I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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