He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
did i just pee glitter
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
