some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
