P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
no you cant smoke seaweed
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
