I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
