Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
