we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
