: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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