chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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