I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
