i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
