The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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