It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
