I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
don't judge my taste in strippers
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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