do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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