Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
