remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
