do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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