The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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