you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
