Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
