she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
