Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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