her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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