Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
