between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
