what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
