Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
