somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
