You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
