The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
