Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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