DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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