But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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