you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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