I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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