Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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