Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize