Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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