I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
