I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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