Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
