Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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